My bestfriend gave me an iPhone. It’s like skipping tens steps in the technological evolution.
Today I spent:
- $51.50 on a two-week-unlimited metrocard.
- $4.80 on a grilled steak quesadilla
Do I want to spend more? Hell yea! But I’m armed with $20 to spend for the rest of the week. I will not be getting my pay check until the end of this month, and I feel so financially inhibited.
What the heck is this post about?
I’m down to my last month of school. I walked during graduation, but I’m missing credits to satisfy my major requirements. So technically, I am still a college student— a college student with a dreadful budget constraint. [NYU, you’re ridiculous as well!]
I’ve been thinking about a more consistent blogging experience, and what better topic to blog about than my own financial ride. Perhaps by doing this, I can keep a record of my cash flow, what I waste my money on, etc.; thus I might be able to better gauge between necessary spending, and spending I can do without.
Thrilling. Here we go!
(On April 24th, my childhood biffle, Jane, exchanged vows with Van. She was my babysitter, my advisor, later on she became my benefactor I had the privilege of writing their love story… Read on)
For Jane and Van, love is the acceptance of each other’s imperfections. They are, as though two puzzle pieces, acknowledging their differences and eventually working together to mold themselves into a perfect fit. It took them seven years to refine their intricate edges. Seven long years of learning, of sharing, of understanding, and of internalizing each other’s wants, needs, and peeves.
They’re love story blossomed over an order of food in Ihawan. Jane was a college student working as a part-time waitress, and Van was a starving customer not really looking for love. So who would have thought that the eye contact they shared would lead to this nuptial celebration?
On October 2002, they crossed paths once again. Van had gotten Jane’s number from his sister, Kristina, because he was too shy to ask her himself. They watched Abandoned for their first date, to which Jane fell asleep. This is not to say however, that she wasn’t interested then; because three months after, on December 2002, Jane confessed to have fallen in love with Van.
He became her confidante, her best friend, and her most valuable moral support. During Jane’s college years, Van voluntarily became her chauffeur—dropping her off, and picking her up from Lehman College as much as possible. To make sure that she eats, Van would slip money in Jane’s bag when she’s not looking. He allowed her to practice drawing blood from his vessels. Jane owes much of her accomplishments, and much of who she is now to Van’s patience, support, and love. For Jane, Van was the perfect imperfect boyfriend. He knew how to cheer her up, and how to relieve her from fatigue and agony. Today he becomes the perfect imperfect husband.
For Van, Jane is his sole inspiration. His reason for waking up everyday, and his motivation to become a better man, and a better person. Sometimes their love encountered a few bumps in the road, and new challenges to overcome. But over time, they learned to accept that this is simply reality; that there will always be hurdles, and idle moments, and shouting, and nagging, and fighting over the phone, and bad timing, and miscommunication, and misinterpretations, and disagreements, and silent treatments. All of which, mars the mind, but never the heart and soul because their heart knows that these are temporary vines to grapple with—these are the agonizing circumstances that have taught them to be patient, and forgiving.
Van and Jane have chosen to embark on new chapters of life together. They take with them memories, and secrets. The good, the bad, the boring, the exiciting, and overwhelming instances. They carry with them times that have filled their lives with so much happiness; and times, as sad or distressing as they may be, that have taught them valuable life lessons.
Love, like trees, grow and flourish when sustained with vital ingredients. While trees need water and sunlight, love in its finest form, relish in patience, passion, and trust. Without them, love withers. And with them, love transcends into eternal preservation; a perpetual bliss prolonged through marriage.
Congratulations Van and Jane. Your perpetual bliss starts today.
Just opened my Bret Michael’s flavored Snapple that I got for free on the corner of Spring St. and Avenue of the Americas.
My boss just commented on how much it tastes like Peach apple pie. I have to agree. There is nothing like a sweet burst of great tasting juice “made from the best stuff on earth”on a precarious day. This Monday simply can’t decide whether it wants rain with the clouds, or just clouds. Message to Mother Earth: You are not making an order at Starbucks here. There are over 8 million people affected with your decision— so make it.
Anyway, SNAPPLE factoid: “There is a museum of strawberries in Belgium.”
I’ve learned -
that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.
that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back.
that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
that it’s not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.
that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better know something.
that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do.
that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
that you can keep going long after you can’t.
that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades
and there had better be something else to take its place.
that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down
will be the ones to help you get back up.
that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.
that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.
that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.
that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.
that your family won’t always be there for you. It may seem funny, how people you aren’t related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren’t always biological.
that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you are to learn to forgive yourself.
that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.
that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.
that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.
that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don’t even know you.
that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.
that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings and standing up for what you believe.
I live a cluttered life.
I live in cluttered thoughts.
It’s such a drag.
It’s the knowing.
It’s the knowing I carry with me in everyday of my life.
It’s the knowing that motivates me to look and move forward.
It’s the knowing that makes me feel elated when things aren’t going the way I’d like them to.
It’s the knowing that I am human and am very capable of heinous acts, and pain-inflicting decisions— and this knowing drove me to self-destruction.
It’s easy to hate myself for my past actions—and to this I confess to have done
But it’s the knowing that paved my way to forgive myself.
It’s the knowing that allows me to smile in every given day; not under false pretenses, but because of genuine self-contentment and peace of mind
In the future, if ever given another chance to correct my errors, it’s this knowing that will guide me, and prohibit me from repeating mistakes that have entrapped me in a forlorn, self-berating cube.
When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew older and wiser, I discovered the world would not change, so I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country.
But it, too, seemed immovable.
As I grew into my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those closest to me, but alas, they would have none of it.
And now, as I lie on my deathbed, I suddenly realize: If I had only changed myself first, then by example I would have changed my family.
From their inspiration and encouragement, I would then have been able to better my country, and who knows, I may have even changed the world.
One hot day I went to Bryant Park to chat up with a condotel owner in Novaliches, Philippines to see the possibilities of renting a condo unit for when I head back. Our conversation ranged from the condo, to life in the Philippines, to his business ventures, and finally to making Philippines a better place to live.
I told him I wanted to change the world one day.
And one day, perhaps I will, no matter how meager or small that contribution looks in the larger picture.
“How do you expect to change Philippines, or even the world if you yourself are not better?” This question threw me off to a puddle of frustration, anger, and sadness.
I couldn’t answer because I knew he was right. I had no game plan. I haven’t really delve into my utmost potential to maximize my efficiency and productivity. I am not better.
Now I live by an addition life mantra: before I can truly leave a mark in the ladder of society’s progress, I must first make an impact on my own personal development.
You know how it works. It’s the finals. Students of different levels are all clumped in Bobst Library… cramming everything they were supposed to learn during the semester, but didn’t. Whatever their reasons are, whether it be a sucky professor, or their own procrastination (I am guilty of the latter), they musn’t take their anger and frustration out on the establishment’s properties.
The girl sitting two seats away from me has been making funny, very deep and heavy sighs. I almost felt sorry, specially because I’m familiar with the stress level. But she started banging on her desk while murmuring her korean. NOT COOL.
It’s finals season. Yes, you’re frustrated. But please keep the frustration to yourself. I got distracted, hence my first post on tumblr is an utter complaint about students’ lack of consideration on other people’s peace and space.
One day, I will have the guts to get up from my seat, walk over to the person, and tell her to “CALM DOWN” — preferably with a stank face.